August 17, 2009 – St. Louis, Missouri
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
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DARK MATCH: Primo Colon defeated Alex Riley
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Raw's GM of the night…Freddie Prinze Jr.
My thoughts on Freddie going in were lukewarm at best. I can't remember if I ever saw "I Know What You Did Last Summer" a decade ago and I know I never saw "She's All That." If I don't remember these movies do you think Vince McMahon saw them? The chances are slim and none there. He will be on 24, which is my favorite television show along with Lost, so I guess I'll see him there. I do know that he used to work for the WWE creative team last year and part of this year, so obviously he had a good knowledge of the product. He showed good enthusiasm in his opening promo. The crowd could tell that, so they gave him some nice pops. Then Santino came out. This is how you use Santino. He was great calling him "Freddie the Prince June." I love how he mispronounces things. He made references to Freddie's movies (from a decade ago) and then went into 24 mode, pointing his finger in Lillian's face and asking where the bomb was. I just re-watched season 3 just for the hell out of it. Pretty accurate portrayal by Santino. Plus, Keifer Sutherland's short like him. Then he sent Santino away by telling him to rehearse while the crowd gave him an ovation. See, that use of Santino worked great.
Orton came out next. Got somewhat of a pop due to being in his hometown of St. Louis. He doesn't want to work. I feel the same way. Maybe I hear voices in my head? Freddie's like, "dude, it's your hometown, you have to work" and Randy does the typical ripping of the hometown because that's what heels do. Heels are miserable all the time. Freddie's not scared of him ("Do I look like Seth Green?") and tells Orton he will be wrestling in the main event. Once Freddie turns his back, Orton grabs him and does his backbreaker move as Freddie sells it like the most painful thing ever. I guess they didn't have confidence in him selling the RKO properly. I immediately cheered at this because I knew it meant the show wouldn't be ruined by too many guest GM segments that have plagued Raw for months. It works for me.
After returning from commercial, the announcers are talking in their SERIOUS VOICES~! Oh no, Freddie's hurt. Thank you SERIOUS VOICES~! for letting me know because if you used regular voices I would doubt the seriousness of it.
US Title Match: Kofi Kingston d. Carlito
Rosa Mendes is with Carlito and she does absolutely nothing. About a minute in, Carlito hit him and Kofi rolled out to the floor for the customary "guy is laying on the floor so let's throw to commercial" spot that you don't always see on Raw. Remember the days when they told you to go WWE.com to watch stuff during the commercial? Guess that didn't work very well, huh. We come back with Carlito still in control. The action was very good, I have to admit. Kingston's so fun to watch and much to my surprise Carlito was motivated enough to keep up. Good counter wrestling with Kofi hitting the crossbody, Carlito reversing and getting a two of his own. Then some more countering led to Kofi hitting the Trouble in Paradise kick for the win. Look at that, huh? A clean 10 minute match that had the crowd into it ending in a favorable result. I complain about this every week and now they finally give it to me. Thank you! More Kofi matches please. He's definitely becoming a favorite of mine.
Hey, here's a DX video package. Look at all the dick jokes. Remember that WWE is a family company, bring the kids! While watching this, are we supposed to forget that four months ago they rammed the whole "HHH is the savior of the McMahon family" stuff when we see him tormenting Vince and Shane three years ago? We are? Okay, thanks. I'm sorry for using my brain. It was a nice trip down memory lane until they showed Chyna. Please don't do that again without warning.
Miz comes out in new ring gear. He's on a quest to be US Champion. Good for him.
The Miz d. Evan Bourne
They got about half the time that Kofi/Carlito got, which is okay with me. I'm not one to usually criticize hair, but what the hell was that mop on Evan's head? Shave it off, dude. Bourne needs to be wrestling every week because he's so exciting to watch and the fans genuinely like him as they should. I like Miz as a worker. He's not great, but he's certainly good enough and I would have no problem with him receiving a push. They exchanged some nearfalls, I actually thought Bourne was winning because they love to piss Miz off. Then Miz ended up hitting the "skull crushing finale" for the win. Basically, it's like Jeff Jarrett's "Stroke" finisher. Not a huge fan of that finisher name, but it certainly gets the point across. I guess Miz is one step closer to getting a US title shot. Of course he'll get the belt sooner rather than later.
DeGeneration X returned. Jillian was annoying so they put a trash can on her, then Santino did some 24 on them and HBK kicked him for the hell of it. Their entrance took a long time. They were about to talk and then Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes came out of "nowhere" to beat the crap out of them. Cody even took off Michaels' boot and beat him with it. Dusty would be proud. I loved this because it makes Legacy seem like a threat even though everybody knows that DX is winning on Sunday. I guess Legacy is on a roll, though. Two weeks ago they pinned HHH in a handicap match, last week they pinned the midget that almost never loses and now they beat the crap out of DX. Beating the midget that never loses does top the list, of course.
The WrestleMania 25 music video special on NBC on August 29 interests me just so I can relive HBK vs. Undertaker again. I'm sure WWE will try to make us think that Triple H vs. Orton was the best thing on the show even though the crowd was dead for it.
I couldn't tell if the announcers busted out the SERIOUS VOICES~! when talking about the DX beatdown. I think they did.
Divas Title: Mickie James d. Gail Kim
Man, I love when Mickie bounces to the ring. This was a tough spot because the crowd was pissed after the DX reunion. They tried to have a fast pace for this, but things just unraveled. I only saw it once, so I don't know. My best guess is Gail must have hit her head at some point, maybe when she landed the crossbody because after that point she messed up. Mickie's DDT didn't work because Gail didn't sell it. Then when Mickie threw a kick it missed by a foot, yet Gail sold that one. Then Mickie hit a forearm for the win. You could see the frustration on Mickie's face. Stuff like that happens on a live show. If it was Smackdown they could have re-taped it or just not aired it at all. I just hope Gail's alright.
Apparently Freddie's back at the arena. That's nice. What a waste of SERIOUS VOICES~! earlier in the show.
Cena's backstage doing a promo. Instead of doing the serious promo that is sorely needed for this match against Orton, he busts out the over the top comedy promo that doesn't work nearly as well when you're trying to sell a big PPV on Sunday. Compare this to something like Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk, which is about ten times better than this feud. Why? Because they hate eachother. We know they do. With Cena/Orton, it feels more like they're wrestling because one guy has the belt and the other doesn't. Telling jokes isn't going to get people to pay money to see the match. They really needed a Cena-Orton face to face on this show. Make up some bullshit about how they were friends coming up, but ever since then Orton's been a jerk to him. Say that you've always measured yourself against Orton because you're about the same age and you came up at the same time. Talk about how you despise Orton as a person because of the way he treats people without respect. Things like that. Making jokes about Orton being a whiner doesn't work in this scenario. I like Cena. I don't blame him. It's the writing. Bad idea for a go home show.
MVP d. Jack Swagger via DQ
No intros. They're just in the ring. The match ended in about 45 seconds thanks to Swagger punching him in the corner. Wow, they couldn't even get a minute. Brutal. They've since announced on WWE.com that they're having a match at Summerslam. Why couldn't they say it during the show when they did the rundown of Summerslam?
Hey look, WWE made People magazine for something other than a wrestler killing his family or having too many people on steroids. Good for you! There's Piven giving the crossbody. That show was brutally awful, but who cares about good shows when you can be in People magazine!
Hornswoggle d. Chavo in a Falls Count Anywhere match
Holy shit, they felt the need to do this again? Horny won when he ran backstage and Chavo got hit by a bucket in the face. Who did it? Macaulay Culkin. Wow, a Home Alone reference. I loved that movie…20 years ago. Good to see Horny win again after losing last week. His WrestleMania push has returned. I think they're having a Best of 25 series. Kool-Aid man was here too.
Next week's guest host is Floyd Mayweather Jr. Good. I like him a lot and he tends to go off script because he's a bit of a nutcase, so that could be good for unintentional comedy.
Main event time. Before we get to that, though, Freddie the tough guy tells Orton that he's picked the lumberjacks for this tag match. Oh, a counter to Piven picking the lumberjacks two weeks ago. You go girlfriend (finger snap).
John Cena & Randy Orton d. Chris Jericho & Big Show
Hey, Jamie Noble's still employed! That's nice to know. I love how we're supposed to believe that if Orton got tossed out by Noble he'd get beat up. I guess the story of the match was how Orton and Cena would work together. They had Orton get beat up for a bit, then he just made the tag. Nothing out of the ordinary. Aren't they supposed to hate eachother? No slap in the face? No spit? Nothing? Cena came in, hit the usual on Jericho, took Show out and then pinned Jericho clean with the AA. It was pretty much by the numbers although it wasn't terrible or anything.
Post match, Orton hit the RKO on Cena. Then, within about twenty seconds, Cena was clearing house on Jerishow while Orton ran away. Way to sell the move. I understand time constraints and all that, but that really hurts the credibility of that move. I guess the story heading into Summerslam is that Cena's looking strong while Orton might be worried about losing his belt. When you have to guess what the story is it's not a good sign. We should all know what it is.
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OPINIÃO GERAL:
Destaques Positivos:
- Freddie Prinze Jr.
- Carlito vs Kofi Kingston
- Evan Bourne vs Miz
Destaques Negativos:
- Hornswoggle vs Chavo
- MVP vs Swagger em 1 minuto...
- Quem diria que Mickie vs Gail Kim poderia ter tantos erros?
Qui 3 Set 2009 - 11:24