Live from Hershey, PA here's the Raw Deal…
This week's guest host…Jesse Ventura
Wait, it's not Jesse. We get Randy Orton to start the show off. He's out there bitching about how he wants another title shot even though he signed a contract preventing him from getting another shot at Cena. He doesn't care, he wants another match. I don't want to see that. Out comes Jesse Ventura. I like Jesse. He was a classic old school wrestling heel that's an above average talker obviously. Every time I see him he looks different too. Jesse came out to say we're tired of the same people getting title matches, so tonight he signed a series of matches involving people who haven't had a World Title shot with the winners competing in the main event Breakthrough Battle Royal (I'll call it BBR for short). I like it. We found out that if a SD guy won he'd get a shot at Undertaker while if a Raw guy won he'd get a shot at Cena. We would also get DX vs. Hart Dynasty and Cena vs. Punk, which are both fine with me. Good opening to the show that probably helped keep viewers tuned in to see who would win the battle royal. Jesse handled himself well even though he needed cue cards because he probably didn't know the names of people. By the way, as soon as I heard this match was happening I called the Sheamus win. The commentfesters can attest to it since I posted the comment at 8:11pm. I am officially on fire with my predictions of late.
Kofi Kingston d. Dolph Ziggler
I don't know who Dolph pissed off to become a jobber now, but that's what he is. I'm not going to complain about Kofi going over him in about three minutes, though. I just wish they'd use Dolph better on Smackdown. Kingston advances to the BBR.
Miz cut a promo at a table full of Thanksgiving goodies talking about how we should be thankful that we get to watch him. He was not in one of the matches to get into the BBR. I'm not sure why. I wondered the same about Morrison, McIntyre and Christian among others.
Sheamus d. Finlay
The match was physical. It went about two minutes with Sheamus scoring the win with his Razor's Edge like finisher that needs a name. Post match, Sheamus beat Finlay up on the floor. You don't see that happening to Finlay very often. Good way to put over Sheamus' toughness. Sheamus advances to the BBR.
Teddy Long was doing his promo when Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar interrupted. They teased Teddy tossing a tray of mash potatoes in Vickie's face, but Eric intercepted in a funny. Oh the comedy.
They plugged Jesse's show about conspiracy theories. I've never even heard of the network it's on. Good luck with that, Jesse.
Backstage, Orton bitched to Ventura about wanting to be in the BBR. Jesse said he likes the way Randy goes about his business (supporting him as a heel, basically), but he wasn't going to change the rules for Randy. Then he took a shot at Hogan and Flair noting he never unretired liked "these other guys." He didn't say their name, but you know he was talking about them.
John Cena d. CM Punk
Before the match, Punk did his usual promo ripping us for our love of alcohol, drugs and even somehow throwing in eating a lot of food for Thanksgiving as a bad thing. He then said, "John Cena, I can see you." He sure showed him. This was the best match on the show despite Cena's new merchandise. I really hate the term "Cenation" by the way. It got about 12 minutes including the mandatory "guy out on the floor so let's go to commercial" spot. They billed it as a first ever meeting although apparently it wasn't. Can't win 'em all, I guess. I liked the spot where they countered eachother's finishers, then Cena put the STF on and Punk surprisingly got ropes. Cena finished him off soon after with an AA off the middle rope, which does look impressive.
Backstage, Vinny Mac met with Jesse. Apparently the whole "look to the future" thing also means it's a throwback night according to Jesse (huh?), which meant that Jesse & Vince would call a match together. And to top it off, Vince would be in a bowtie. I always liked Jesse & Vince, but they weren't as good as Heenan & Monsoon.
MVP, Mark Henry & R-Truth d. Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters & Jack Swagger
You'd think a six man tag match on a three hour show would get some time? No. Three minutes. The three babyface black dudes won. What was the point of Swagger's promo a couple weeks back when he said he'd go undefeated to end the year when all he seems to do is lose? And furthermore, why is Swagger on the team with the Raw jobbers? It's disappointing to see Swagger misused like this. MVP, Henry & Truth advance to the BBR.
It was DX time backstage as Hunter asked Shawn why he superkicked him at Survivor Series. Shawn stumbled for a second, then said because Hunter was going to Pedigree him. He basically admitted it. Then a midget came in and served them papers for court next week for beating up Hornswoggle. A midget court segment coming next week with guest host Verne Troyer. That's sophisticated. Maybe Shawn should go back to being a chef that superkicks mouthy little girls?
Randy Orton d. Evan Bourne
Primo Horowitz was supposed to come out to lose to Bourne, but out came Orton. He threw him off the stage, then beat on him and wanted the match. Ventura said persistency pays off. If he wins, he's in the battle royal. A minute and a half later he won with a RKO "out of nowhere" according to Michael Cole even though he was standing in front of the guy. I hate the "out of nowhere" phrase being used in the wrong context because when it actually is out of nowhere nobody will give a shit due to all the misuse. Orton advances to the BBR.
They aired a video showing Vince and Jesse's history announcing together. Jesse wore a lot of outfits and holy shit did Vince wear a lot of bad suits.
My girl Mickie James, Kelly x2 and Melina were shown walking backstage smiling in Native American (I'm politically correct) outfits.
Before that match, though, here's a trailer for The Marine 2 with Ted Dibiase starring. I thought he'd be a babyface by now. Maybe they realize the straight to DVD movie isn't going to sell much anyway, so they killed that plan because everybody knew it was coming.
Melina, Mickie James & Kelly Kelly d. Michelle McCool, Layla & Jillian
I love the girls as much as anybody, but this really bad. The Gobbledy Gooker came out as guest timekeeper. Michael Cole sold Gooker like it was the funniest thing ever. Can Sheamus come kick Cole in the head for me? The heels were dressed like pilgrims while the faces were dressed like Indians (WWE isn't politically correct) that came out to Tatanka's music. Thank God, I thought they re-hired Tatanka again. Remember those video packages? Awful. The heels left Jillian alone, so Melina pinned her in about a minute. They screwed up about every spot. It was bad. Mickie and Kelly, neither of whom actually competed in the match, then left (why waste Mickie James potentially wrestling pantsless like that?) while Lawler interviewed Melina when she was attacked by Gooker. It was Maryse. Good to have her back, but it wasn't well done. Took her a while to get out of the costume to reveal a tight dress. The crowd was pretty dead for this. Can't blame them. It was not a good segment.
DX d. Hart Dynasty
On paper it was a nice match, but in reality they barely got five minutes. The heels worked over Michaels, HHH got the hot tag and that was it. I hope HBK is still wrestling when Kidd gets his singles push because I think they would have great chemistry.
Post match, Jericho came out bitching about DX. He said at TLC they'd have a match for the titles. Michaels called them the united titles rather than the unified titles. It's okay. It's HBK, he can fuck up all he wants. He's earned it. Michaels then said it would be a TLC match at the PPV. Odds of HHH tearing a quad by climbing up a ladder? I'd say 40% at least. I would put Batista's odds at about 80% for the record. I think it's wise to do Jerishow vs. DX at a PPV where somebody new will be challenging Cena. I hope Jerishow retains because Jericho needs to be on both shows. I don't need to see Hunter on SD again and I doubt HBK would go there much.
Batista came out in a leather jacket. He actually looks normal when he's clothed. He talked about beating Rey. He said now that Rey was out he wanted to get back his title from Undertaker. That brought out Kane. He challenged him right there. Batista just left. We later found they have a match on Friday. I guess Kane is in the Matt Hardy role of losing to the heel before he gets to be in the main event. Keep the match short, please.
Legacy d. Cryme Tyme
Remember when this was a feud? Remember when Legacy looked like they were on the receiving end of a push? Those were the days. Legacy won of course because Cryme Tyme almost never wins. The crowd was pretty dead for this one too. Dibiase & Rhodes advance to the BBR.
Jeff Hardy DVD coming out soon. That's nice. Get him back in the ring, please. Smackdown needs babyfaces.
They did a backstage segment with Santino having pies thrown in his face by Gail, Alicia, Eve and the Bellas after some sexist comments. Oh those divas are so smart, sexy and powerful that they can tell these things. Don't mess with them. Then Vickie took a pie in the face just for comedy sake. It was probably funny on paper, but it wasn't great.
Sheamus won the Breakthrough Battle Royal
Vince and Jesse were at ringside here announcing. It was okay. They did their vintage (yeah I said it) jawing back and forth with Jesse being a bit like a heel. It made me realize how much Michael Cole sucks. They had Sheamus work slow at the start, then he came on strong and got the big elimination by sending Kool-Aid man Mark Henry out by himself. The final three were Kingston, Orton and Sheamus. They had Kingston eliminate Orton using his feet in an athletic manner, but then Sheamus eliminated Kingston in a quick manner.
After the match, Jesse was in the ring (with Cole back on commentary) with Sheamus waiting for Cena. They were there to sign contracts. Sheamus was all cocky. Cena was laid back. Then he did his patented "time to get serious promo" with all the yelling. This was the opposite of his lame comedy bits with DX that did a terrible job of making anybody care about that match. They both signed the contract. Jesse went heel on Cena by basically saying he was tired of him and wanted somebody new. That led to Sheamus kicking Cena in the head. He then put him through the table (of course) with a powerslam. We then found out from Jesse that the match at the TLC PPV would be a Tables Match. I don't like Tables matches as much as I like TLC or Ladder matches, but I guess they can't do too many of the same thing on one show.
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I give the show a slightly higher rating than last week because I liked the continued rise of Kingston as well as the idea behind the BBR. It worked. The Cena/Punk match was the best match on the show. I got a kick out of the Ventura/McMahon announcing team too. It was fun. Really, the best thing about the show was the energy you got from watching. It really didn't feel like the same old shit, which is refreshing to me as a viewer.
This was the second good Raw in a row coming off a strong PPV. Maybe WWE is headed in the right direction? I hope.
By the way, after word got out that Sheamus is one of HHH's boys and workout partners (Hunter said that himself in an interview) look how quickly he got in a main event. He just left ECW because he didn't want to be there (a lame way to move somebody), then he beat the shit out of people for a couple of weeks, then he lasted until the end in a SS match and now he's getting a title match. A couple of months ago he lost to Goldust of all people. It took what, four weeks? I wonder where those "HHH doesn't have power, he's just another wrestler" people are? You want a push? Be nice to Hunter. I'm not bitching about it. I like seeing a new person in the title scene. I'm just saying it can happen fast.
Three Stars of the Show
1. Jesse Ventura - He was tremendous. One of my three favorite guest hosts to date along with Shaquille O'Neal and Bob F'N Barker.
2. Randy Orton - He was very good all night playing the desperate heel and he put Kingston over again. I like that.
3. John Cena - Had a good match with Punk, and then sold a beating well for a change.
Dom 20 Dez 2009 - 21:53