Live from Baltimore, MD here's the Raw Deal…
Best thing to come from the city of Baltimore? The Wire. God, I love that show.
We started with my boys Chris Jericho and Big Show. They cut a promo talking about their accomplishments, using the big words and running down DX. At one point he said DX has been together for like twelve years. Not really. They were together for about six months in 1997-98, another run in 2006 and another run now. Maybe a year total in 12 years. Out came HHH and Shawn. The glowsticks were ready. Hunter said Jericho is boring. This is the same guy that feuded with Randy Orton for five months and realized that his babyface sucked so much that it was time to go back to being funny again. Hunter is the boring one. Shawn talked about wanting to be the tag champs for the first time after they win at TLC in his hometown of San Antonio. Hunter mentioned Jericho is only Raw because he's a tag champ, so if they lose he's off Raw. How about when Hunter was on Raw for a couple of months before WrestleMania even though he was a Smackdown wrestler? Oh right, rules don't apply to McMahons. We ended up getting HHH vs. Jericho for tonight. The winner gets a handicap match with his partner vs. the other guy (so either DX vs. Jericho or Jerishow vs. Hunter). This whole thing was okay. Noting amazing or anything.
Maryse & Jillian d. Melina & Gail Kim (*)
Maryse cut a promo before the match. The heels were crafty and Maryse won with her hair flipping DDT thing. If you're keeping score at home, the diva feuds this year were Mickie vs. Maryse on Raw and Melina vs. Michelle on Smackdown. Now it's Melina vs. Maryse on Raw and Michelle vs. Mickie on SD because the other ones ran their course. Also, Maryse's pin was fantastic. She laid on top of Melina literally to pin her. I loved it. The best pin in the history of wrestling? Mickie James-Canton on Trish Stratus at WrestleMania 22. No question about it. Maybe it'll even make my 29 favorite moments column?
Sheamus came out. He talked for a bit. His opponent, Santino Marella, came out. Santino was amazing here. He mentioned Lucky Charms, said Sheamus should focus on him and not "John Chayna." Man, screwing up Cena's name like that is gold. I love Santino. All the insults led to the predictable beating. Was it a match? I don't know. He gave him the Razor's Edge (still needs a name, I might throw a poll up about that on the blog this week) and then put him through a table in the corner with a running powerslam. By the way, the announcers busted out the SERIOUS VOICES~! for the beating. Of course they did.
Show met up with guest host Verne Troyer backstage. Quite the visual. He made it up to Show's shinbone. Jericho did his whole "guest host disrespecting me" routine too.
Verne Troyer came out. Actually he was placed on a chair. What can he do, really? Miz interrupted him. He got in some Austin Powers jokes that were pretty funny. Miz did a good job. Out came Kool-Aid man Mark Henry to protect Verne from an altercation. We end up getting Miz vs. Mark Henry for later.
Randy Orton d. Kofi Kingston (*1/4)
Kofi was boom-boom-booming his way out to the ring when Cody Rhodes beat him up from behind. Officials pulled him away, Kofi went in the ring and Ted Dibiase went after his legs. They broke that up, then Kofi said let the match start because he wants Orton. Orton came out at a pace that wasn't ridiculously slow for once (the voices told him to walk fast) and continued the assault on Kingston. It was more of an angle than a match with Kingston eating a RKO for the loss. Post match, Orton gave him the DDT off the ring ropes to knock him out even more. I am a fan of that spot. This was fine. No need to give the full match away on free TV. Save it.
Goofy segment time backstage with MVP and Mark hanging with Verne. In came Jillian to sing. Mark started dancing, then he accidentally fell on her (they didn't show him hitting her) and she was laid out with Verne left there to say "I think she's dead." The point of this was that Mark had a personality. This wasn't good.
John Cena arrived and marched to the ring. He's serious, folks. He's so serious that he arrives 1 hour and 15 minutes late to a show to get revenge on the guy that beat the shit out of him last week? He wants Sheamus right there. Instead, Carlito comes out. Didn't expect that. He says he doesn't know Sheamus, but he wants him to win because there's a locker room full of guys (and internet fans although I'm more impartial to Cena) that hate Cena. John Chayna was fired up, told Carlito to bring it and how does Carlito bring it? By biting into an apple! That let Cena hit him with the FU. Way to go, Carlito. Sheamus came out. He stared at Cena then left. I assume this was done to make it look like Sheamus will only fight him on his terms, not Cena's.
Terrible segment was next with Mark Henry trying to rap. MVP hyped the crowd up. He did a good job. Mark was brutal, though. Not sure if that was intentional or not, but I didn't really laugh at it. It was just bad TV.
Mark Henry d. The Miz in a non-title match (1/2*)
Mark raps worse than he wrestles. That should tell you something. Of course Henry won the match because if a champion is in a non-title match he's usually going to lose. I really don't know why you book the US champ to lose in about two minutes to somebody that doesn't win a whole lot anyway. I guess they'll have a match at the TLC PPV now.
Next week's host is Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks of the NBA. I like Cubes. I've even met him once. Good guy and I believe he's a legit WWE fan.
DX was backstage talking about getting served papers last week. Horny came up to them. He talked his gibberish and they had subtitles on the screen. Why can't Hornswoggle speak normally? I have no idea. They were supposed to do some kind of midget court this week, but that idea got scrapped thankfully.
Triple H d. Chris Jericho (**1/2)
Remember in 2002 when HHH totally buried Jericho in the main event of WMX8? I've tried to forget. I can't. They mentioned how they haven't wrestled much in the last few years, which is probably true, so I appreciate that ode to history. They had Show and HBK on commentary although Shawn wasn't really funny here like when DX did commentary last month. They worked a basic TV match with neither guy hitting a finisher. Show got up, HBK got in his face and Show knocked him over. The ref, like a dumbass, looked at HBK and Show KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT of HHH with a punch. The ref kicked him out, then HBK superkicked Jericho and he got kicked out. They did the double KO spot, both got up at 9, neither guy could get the finish so HHH reversed the walls with a push into the corner and scored the pinfall on a textbook rollup. Would HHH ever lose to somebody like that? Of course not.
Post match, DX pointed out that next week it's DX vs. Jericho in a handicap match and that it will be Jericho's last night on Raw. What's funny is that after the TLC PPV they have a 3 hour Raw with the Slammy Awards and wrestlers from all three brands will be there. Jericho will probably be on that Raw. Weird huh?
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Three Stars of the Show
1. Maryse – That pin was epic.
2. Santino – He gets number two for saying "John Chayna."
3. Chris Jericho – Maybe two more weeks left on Raw, so he's in.
Sorry Carlito, you were close.
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Just an average show after the last two Raw's being very good. I don't think Cena beating up Carlito and Sheamus beating up Santino is the best way to build their match although I understand that they want to keep them apart to make the Tables match special. The Jerishow/DX stuff was pretty great and of course Maryse's pin as well as Santino's comedy were the highlights for me. I never need to hear Mark Henry rap ever again, though.
Also, I had no problem with the Kingston/Orton match. It was a good way of doing an angle without doing a real match. Makes you really want to see the full match, which is hopefully at the TLC PPV. Still the best feud in WWE right now.
There wasn't even 25 minutes of in ring action on this show. It was angle driven, that's for sure.
Dom 20 Dez 2009 - 22:24