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 WWE RAW - 7 de Dezembro de 2009

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MensagemAssunto: WWE RAW - 7 de Dezembro de 2009   Ter 2 Fev 2010 - 20:36

Guest host Mark Cuban came out. I'm a huge sports fan, always thought highly of him as an owner of the Dallas Mavericks. He really cares about his team (maybe too much) and wants to win. Have to like that. He has a lot of enthusiasm for WWE and it shows. He ran down what was going to happen in the show as it led to our first match.

John Cena d. Carlito (*1/4)
You know it's bad for Carlito when I'm getting emails from people after the show saying they were happy with how he was used. The guy lost in three minutes after there was interference. That's good? Ouch for Carlito. Sheamus came out, distracted Cena for a bit and Carlito ate an AA for the loss. Way to reward him for cutting a great promo last week.

Next week's Raw is the three hour Slammy Awards show with Dennis Miller, a comedian I like, as the host. Earlier in the day you will read the Johnny Awards column and hopefully WWE will too so they know who to give the awards to. Hint: One of the awards should go to the diva with the last name of Canton.

Randy Orton, his voices, Cody Rhodes & Ted "so much for the heel turn because everybody on the internet knew about it" Dibiase came out to stir up shit. They referenced Orton giving Cuban the RKO six years ago. I remember that. Surprised that WWE did. They did some trash talking back and forth, so Cubes set up Orton vs. Kingston tonight with him as the ref. Cody wanted to wrestle Cuban. Mark said no, after the Mavericks win the NBA finals. If he said Lakers there it would have made more sense. Dallas isn't winning shit. Way to pay Erick Dampier instead of Steve Nash, by the way. I assume this means they're going back to the Dallas area in June or later and they might have Cuban in a match. I'm not sure though. Tonight, he's going to punish them. With what? Wait for it…

Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase d. Primo & Evan Bourne (*)
Way to punish them, Cuban. Put them in a match against the two guys that lose all the time for three minutes. You showed them. Bourne flashed his enormous potential before losing to Dibiase. Remember when Legacy made DX submit? How'd that help them? Oh right, they then got destroyed by DX and have done nothing since. Way to elevate the young stars.

They showed videos all night showing how Sheamus has dominated since coming to Raw. No references to the Goldust feud in ECW? ECW, what's that?

Maryse d. Gail Kim (1/4*)
Kelly Kelly was the guest ring announcers. "From Montreal, Quebec…Maurice!" That's what is sounded like. Don't quit your day job, Kelly. What's her day job anyway? I don't know. When I look at her I don't care either. Maryse won with feet on the ropes. The ref did one of the worst jobs of trying to miss the feet on the ropes because he was looking right at them as he hit the three. Even Cole ripped him for it. When you get ripped by Cole for something you know you fucked up. I hope Gail Kim left TNA only for money because the way WWE doesn't use her pisses me off. I hope she's paid well at least. After the match, Melina chased Maryse away. Can't botch a move doing that.

The DX boys did a skit. Mostly a miss. Basically, they shilled their DX merch. I haven't bought wrestling clothes since probably 1997 when I got an Austin shirt. Of course, everybody had one of those "Austin 3:16" shirts. Horny came out of the box that HHH was giving Shawn. Hunter was stunned that he was there. What an actor. Horny was wearing his new DX shirt with himself paired up with them. This feud is worse than Chavo vs. Horny, officially. At least they did midget court. The only really funny thing in the seg was HHH and Shawn going into some Star Wars thing, then fucking up the lines and taking papers out of their pocket to throw at some nerd nearby. Their way of saying it was a stupid writing segment. Can anybody else in the company make fun of writers? Of course not. It's not the DX way. It's the "sleeping with the boss' daughter" way. After all this, Horny climbed the top of the Christmas Tree and fell on top of it onto them. Hunter sold for that more than he sells for most things in his matches.

Kofi Kingston d. Randy Orton (**)
Cuban was the ref. I'll admit I wasn't a huge fan of giving the match away for free two weeks in a row, but I think they booked it creatively last week much like this week. Orton got a cheap win after his boys beat up Kofi and now Kofi got his win after Cuban did the fast count on Orton to get him back from six years ago. I am excited for the PPV match because I hope it gets 20 minutes and blows everything out of the water. Getting only five minutes on TV is disappointing, but like I said they booked it smartly. It'd be stupid to give away a full blown match of the best feud in the company for free.

In promoting the Sheamus/Cena confrontation later, King called him John Sheamus.

US Title: The Miz d. Mark Henry (1/2*)
Mr. Kool-Aid won last week, so of course he lost this week with the title on the line. That's how WWE loves to book these things. Henry lost in about three minutes. Are all the three minute matches a tribute to 3 Minute Warning member, the late Eddie Fatu? I doubt it. Thanks for not putting this match on PPV. I appreciate that. Thanks also for not killing time with Mark Henry segments. By the way, I love how Henry's shot at the US title is an "opportunity of a lifetime." The guy has worked for WWE for 12 years. Please get The Miz a real feud now.

Hornswoggle & Eve d. Chavo & Jillian (-*)
Do I have to even say anything? Look at the bolded part. That's enough. Masters came out to protect Horny & Eve. Chavo shoved him in the chest and he busted out the TITTY DANCE~! to the delight of the crowd. Post match, Horny did his own version of it although he used his hands. I feel like less of a person for writing about a midget doing a titty dance, for the record.

My man Jericho came out. Typical great promo. Troglodyte is such a fantastic word. Calling the tables "oak" is like calling Mark Henry talented. Just not true. I feel like I've written about his greatness before and I'm in a rush, so let's get to the match. Did I just write more about the titty dance than a Jericho promo? What's wrong with me?

DX vs. Jericho had no decision
The match they spent all week hyping got, yep, about four minutes. Amazing. Show came out, they had a brawl using the tables, ladders and chairs with Big Show KNOCKING THE FUCK OUT of HHH with the help of a chair. They used the ladder to sandwich them too. Nice beating for Jerishow although this pretty much secures the DX win because of my "get beat up on TV, win on PPV" theory that I have used for years.

The Cena/Sheamus Debate
Sheamus spoke. Cena did the no comment thing before going into his "be quiet for a bit and then erupt like a volcano" routine that he always does. They shoved the tables out. I really thought this did a great job of continuing to build Sheamus up as a badass. Sheamus shoved Cuban, then kicked Cena in the head. Cuban shoving Sheamus wasn't something I liked, but they redeemed that with a sick table spot. Cubes is crazy for taking that. It should be noted that Cena sold two kicks to the head more than he sold almost being exploded in the Ironman match, which pisses me off for consistency sake. The show ended with Sheamus walking up the aisle while Cena huddled over Cuban to see if he was alright.

I can't wait for Cuban vs. Sheamus now. Oh, you mean it's Cena vs. Sheamus? That's nice to know. Don't worry, fans. In six years Mark Cuban will get Sheamus back too. You wait!


Three Stars of the Show
1. Sheamus
2. Mark Cuban
3. Chris Jericho

An average Raw again. The last two were pretty average while the two before that were really good. They focused too much on Cuban (who needs to be commended on a good job taking that bump) and not enough on the hot Kingston/Orton feud. I think the three main Raw feuds for TLC are pretty good with Cena/Sheamus promising a physical match, the DX/Jerishow match being pretty heated and Orton/Kingston although it has cooled a bit by giving the match away twice with screwy finishes. As always, I wish there was more actual wrestling. Also, no Santino? What a letdown.

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